Social Dependence

December 23, 2008 – 7:24 pm Print This Post

I do my best work in Email. so here is another excerpt.

Social Dependence:

  • If you say “I hate you” to your neighbor, does that obligate your neighbor to react?
  • Are you a slave to the thoughts of others?
  • Do you believe your feelings are beyond your control?
  • Do you use the term “I can’t help the way I feel“?
  • Do you believe that feelings just happen?
  • Do you believe it’s the responsibility of other people to cultivate your interests or feelings?
  • Do you believe the thoughts of others represent you?
  • Do you believe other people should be responsible for your safety, best interest or feelings?
  • Do you invest in the manipulation of other people’s feelings, expressions, thoughts or opinions?
  • Do you only find solace in the approval of another person?
  • Do you place unreasonable or unrealistic expectations on other people, then “blame” then for not living up to them?
  • Do you only accept yourself when you match the expectations, will, perceptions, prejudice, approval, acceptance, viewpoint or point of view of other people?
  • Are you dependent on other people for validation of your self?
  • Do you find solace in your own experiences and approval regardless of what other people think?

These questions are aimed at highlighting a condition akin to “Addiction” that’s clearly rampant in our societies. It takes much time to acquire the experience necessary to overcome such pitfalls. Such experience can not be accomplished in a single life time. And that’s, in part, what separates those who live here on Earth from those who live or have lived elsewhere…

We, as a group of humans on Earth, exist in a predominantly socially dependent society, where people invest more time and effort in other people than in themselves. It’s become fashionable to “make sacrifices” for “other peoples‘” well being. The underlying implication is that society as a whole is more important than the individuals that make up that society. The reality is, without the individual, there is no society. So, from my point of view, I am more important than society as a whole. It’s not a popular stance but it’s the only realistic stance one can take if we expect to exist for any period of time. It also removes the underlying reason for most of the dishonest, devious or violent acts that our society suffers from. Such thinking is a very old way of thinking. It may have been useful in the past. But, like a child grows up and leaves home, it’s time now for Earthly Humanity to grow up. To stop trying to control each others’ thoughts, ideas, beliefs or feelings through legislation, frivolous lawsuits, blame and clearly irrational views of reality. It’s time to leave behind the ridiculous projections of a magical “everything” and accept that reality is far more complex than any of us ever dreamed of imagining. It’s time to accept that we don’t know very much, that there is no substitute for being there, no substitute for experience.

Evidence by lyrics like this:

“Life For Rent”



I haven’t ever really found a place that I call home
I never stick around quite long enough to make it
I apologize that once again I’m not in love
But it’s not as if I mind
that your heart ain’t exactly breaking

It’s just a thought, only a thought

But if my life is for rent and I don’t learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

I’ve always thought
that I would love to live by the sea
To travel the world alone
and live more simply
I have no idea what’s happened to that dream
Cos there’s really nothing left here to stop me

It’s just a thought, only a thought

But if my life is for rent and I don’t learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

If my life is for rent and I don’t learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

While my heart is a shield and I won’t let it down
While I am so afraid to fail so I won’t even try
Well how can I say I’m alive

If my life is for rent and I don’t learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

If my life is for rent and I don’t learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

From http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/dido/lifeforrent.html

-Tom


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