Past Life Recall #4 Recalling Vonda DeMarka
This is a roundabout story of:
Vonda Ellen May Clarkston DeMarka
The lyrics to the several of the songs on Tori Amos album “Scarlet’s Walk” (through the violence…) plus the entire Star Wars story line seem to be excerpts from something I clearly recall from my own past life history. But, before i get there I have some explaining to do.
I believe firmly that we humans live in an ongoing developmental cycle. Some call it Reincarnation, I call it: Existence. Over the past decade or so, I’ve been hearing & feelings things around me. Things that others might consider to be “imaginary” because they aren’t very visible. However, since the feelings and noises had construct, I began to address them directly. At first I got little more than an increase in the noise but shortly thereafter the noises addressed me in return. They were not very nice noises, to say the least. Neither were the feelings associated with them. But, having now engaged them over a period of decades and having validated, in reality, what I recall of past lives, I’m now satisfied that what I’ve been experiencing is very real and that we all live in this Universe together in an ongoing, developmental way.
I believe we all develop in an ongoing way through a series of lives beginning with birth, ending with death, continuing with integration of life experiences and ongoing with additional life and death cycles. As with all things, eventually this series of lives must end. If it didn’t we would all be enormous monsters of some kind. I also believe not all of these cycles occur here on Earth. In order to help us build a solid foundation for our ongoing development, most of us end up in deeper galactic waters at some point in our development. Within these deeper waters are places, people, things, elements, objects, times, memories, relationships, philosophies, education and more. In times past, those who were able to move into deeper water did so and often left those of us who hadn’t figured it out to ponder alone. Native Tribes in many regions have a belief system that certain people, certain leaders will return to them after having died and integrated their experiences. See the movie “Whale Rider” for an example. Recently many of us have returned here to help those we left behind and to share what we have experienced and learned. I’ve become more aware than the average person making me capable of sharing these stories. I do this because I need to for my own future, that’s why I’m writing this. Because I recall being at the end of an existence, unable to continue to participate in my own development. Unable to keep up with other people. Referencing literature and movies like “The Ring”, or more recently, “Pan’s Labyrinth”, it’s easy to wonder where some of us have been. Where we might have come up with such organized stories of magical places and times. From my point of view, the overwhelming evidence is our society and it’s seemingly endless cultures.
My current awareness is that we, most of us that is, are engaged in an ongoing developmental cycle. Each cycle enables us to build more complexity to our interior selves. I believe we do this because we need to in order to maintain our ongoing existence. While one might get the idea that I’m insinuating that we continue to grow forever, I’m not. I’m also aware that I have certain limitations to my growth, mostly because as I change, so does the environment around me. At some point the oldest parts of me are no longer useful in helping me to negotiate the environment, making them no longer useful, valid, or valuable. So, I let them go to enable me to continue to grow. If I hold on to useless parts of myself, I’m self limiting because I get stuck in the past and end up projecting that past onto the future. Then I no longer have awareness, rather I have irrational beliefs. If we don’t keep up with the changes that surround us, our experiences become stale, old, useless, irrational and even harmful.
From my point of view, one of the most important first steps in increasing my awareness is to understand my own fears and where they come from. Fears aren’t evil or necessarily harmful. In Star Wars the Jedi present the concept that fear is the path to the “Dark Side”, that fear itself can overcome you, overwhelm you and become your master. As if fear has a mind of it’s own. Realizing my fears are mine, not some external universal force, helps me keep references to them in reasonable contexts were they belong. When I become irrational, my fears are irrational as well. If I become irrational because of my irrational fears, I’m in for a long, fear-full ride. Because irrational fears no longer represent reality, the fear itself can be dangerous. If for no other reason that it tends to perpetuate more fear. The result is a condition called “Malevolence”, something we usually fear. If we’ve been through the process of being malevolent and survived, we aren’t as fearful of it and are more able to prevent the downward cycle from beginning. There are two kinds of fear. Fear based on reality, like avoiding a collision with a moving vehicle, and fear of the unknown, which is generally irrational. Knowing the difference and addressing irrational fears by proving they are irrational can have profound consequences in one’s life.
Beginning with an existential birth when we choose a base physiology (septhal chemistry like Rheesa Mae, Monza Deville, Leptor Lepson or Diablo Passion) for the entirety of our existence, we “negotiate” with parents who themselves have a combination of physiological development we desire or need and are developed physiologically (the part beyond death) to a greater degree than most of us are aware of here, at least at the moment. This negotiation provides us with an opportunity for an entire existential life. An existence being a series of lives based on one’s mental structures and ongoing intent. There are three levels of self awareness, that I’m aware of. They are: Eaidic (adia base), Existential and Livid. An Eaida is a group of existences. An existence is a group of lives. I don’t know if it’s possible to become more aware, at least in our current environment (Earth floating in interstellar space). It also means the universe is not the largest collection of environmental entities. A Cosmos is a collection of Universal Entities and a Galaxy is a collection of living systems; star systems with planets around them. We live within a Galaxy because the space outside is either completely uninhabitable or uninhabitable to us as young existential beings. In any case, it becomes very clear rather early on in this philosophical lesson that the Mind of a person is different from the environment. We seem to be bound to some underlying reality layer that is not part of the environment and from that point of view, we are, each of us, unique and individual realities. In and of our selves.
A note on where we are: This galaxy has a name and that name is Mboona. The Universe has a name as well. We are currently within the bounds of Mboona:Madsen. Some of you may recall other places like Goya:getch, Rheesa:Madsen or Goodson:major. Perhaps you recall Dodson:proper or Tessa:prime.
I recall my development beginning with birth in the usual way but on a world called Redsen Major. It’s located in the farthest outer reaches of the galaxy, way up to the North of our current position. I recall visiting the place during my latest “death” where I had a communication with a young girl who was standing on the top of a mountain. At her side was a “bladder” of air. Her head was actually in space as she gazed out into the universe beyond. That dream is what began my adult recall of past lives. Redsen Major is in the Redsen System. It’s sun isn’t really a sun at all, it’s a Gas Giant, similar to our own Jupiter. However, this gas giant and several others, are on fire. They glow like a star but with much less intensity. They have a very nice red light making evenings and sunsets exceptionally beautiful. Especially during a Red Sulphur event called a “Blood Moon”. Although the moon isn’t red during this time, the space around us is, red with the sulphur one can taste in the air. Redsen is located, or was when I last found it, by heading towards the Cat’s Eye nebula and looking right into the center. There is a small Red Gas Giant in the center. Around it rotate several planets and numerous moons. Redsen Major is one of the planetoids. It’s quite small by Earth standards. One can walk around it in a two or thee weeks if he or she is really motivated. Redsen system has two other planetoids: Redsen Minor and Redsen Tirsh. Both are inhabited but Redsen Major is the reason most people end up at Redsen. Redsen has an interesting history. It was once part of the galaxy’s center. It was once a moon orbiting a very large planet that used to be called Naboona.
Naboona was once at the center of the galaxy. It was roughly 2 million miles in circumference. It was in an area towards the galactic center where the universal space flows past the galactic core causing a low pressure zone. This area is called the “Shadow Pool”. It’s located directly South of the galaxies center. On the North rim of the Shadow pool, Naboona once was a prominent world. Itâ€™s only moon, Rhetoria at the time, was instrumental in keeping it in balance between the rapidly cycling core shear line and the shadow pool. It apparently had been there for millennia and was thought by those who lived there to be stable forever. They were wrong. Several hundred thousand years ago, Naboona’s tiny little moon; Rhetoria, began to change it’s orbit. It began slowly over a period of centuries and eventually it broke free from the gravitational forces that held it. The trajectory it found launched it out of the galaxy on a very long path to what is now called the Redsen System. As a result of the imbalance resulting from the loss of the Rhetoria moon, Naboona began to loose it’s orbit. It eventually plunged into the shear line at the galaxies center and was torn into four quadrants. Each quadrant was sent spinning outwards into the galaxy. One of the quads split in half again and ended up on the far Southern end of the galaxy. Those two fragments now form two planets known as Naboo and Adair on the southernmost boundary of the galaxy. Naboo is referenced in the Star Wars Septa although I don’t recall it being the center of the Second Galactic Conflict as was presented in the story. While the George Lucas story about the galactic goings on is fascinating, it’s not very accurate. I’ll write a page on what I recall as time permits.
Time permitted. Read here
We know this story from the writings on the walls, some on a castle wall, others on wall fragments left behind. They were discovered initially on the world now know as Adair inside a castle. It seems to be one of the few things that survived the actual breakup of Naboona. There are ruins on Naboo but they have been pillaged, and for the most part they are nowhere near as well preserved as those on Adair. The historic place has become known as “Castle Adair“. It now houses mostly animals. I don’t know it’s current inhabitants, I do recall there was a Dalmatian and a Cheetah. The Dalmatian was named “Dan Adair” and the Cheetah was just “Cheetah Adair“. She had kittens at one time and a calendar was printed with the pictures of them. There is also a museum in the castle where many extremely useful artifacts are housed. One being an epitaph for a young woman who died there, another is the original poem that was pilfered in the 1960’s for a famous musical. It begins:
Raindrops on Roses
Whiskers on kittens…
The original poem begins:
Hyde copper kettles and warm wollen mittens
Raindrops that cling to the fur of my kittens
Brown paper packages, tied up in strings. (hint)
These were a few of my favorite things…
The poem was written by a woman who got herself stuck on an expedition to the flame cap on Siggma and was alone for a long time. She got stuck during the winter season and although she was able to communicate and receive items, the “drops” were limited and contained only bare necessities. One of the men making the drops suggested she write about her favorite things and he would try to get some of them for her. During her stay she received only one important item on her list. They couldn’t, or wouldn’t get her a Hyde copper kettle so they dropped her a Hyde copper reading lamp instead. Hyde Copper is a natural mineral that forms around some sptings. It’s essentially Hydrogen Copper rather than the more familiar Oxygen Copper we are familiar with. It’s made through an ion exchange process that occurs in some larger worlds due to the enormous pressures and resulting chemical states. In some places it coats rocks around warm springs where people congregate. It has a unique property in that it has an affinity for certain organic compounds. Thus a “scum” forms where a person sits in contact with the hyde copper rocks when bathing in a Hyde Copper Spring.
Below is some of the original writing as I recall it. Each stanza was a separate drop note requesting items.
Hyde copper cettles
warm wollen mittens
Raindrops that stick to the fir of my kittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things…
When the dog bites!
When the Bee stings!
When I’m feeling SAAAD!
I try to remember that I’m not to blame
and it helps me to feel…
Hyde copper cettles
warm wollen mittens
Raindrops that drip on the nose of my kittens
Brown paper packages tied up in strings
These are a few of my favorite things…
Red Rosen sashes
Warm wollen mittens
Raindrops that splash off the nose of my kittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are some more of my favorite things…
Wind chimes that hang on the porch by my doorway
cars that go BANG as they pass on the roadway
silver white winters that melt into springs
here are some more of my favorite things…
When the Dog Bites!
When the bee Stings!
When I’m feeling SAAAD!
I try to remember my favorite things
And some times I find
Times when I wake up with tears on my lashes
times when I feel like I’m living in circles
times when I feel and I see where I am
warm woolen mittens
sounds of the birds as they chirp in the window
choirs in the church on dreadful Sunday outings
songs that they sing as they pass during Christmas
feeling alone in the dark at a friends house
finding myself in a place of my choosing
discovering it’s not what I thought it would be…
Then the Dog BITES!
The the BEE STINGS!
Then I feel real BAD!
And then I discover my favorite things
are the same and different again.
warm wollen mittens
Raindrops that splash off the backs of my kittens
Bluebells and sleigh bells
Fires in the kitchen
Silver white winters that melt into springs
I think I’ve found some of my favorite things
Tea in the garden
Warm wollen mittens
Hyde-copper patches on backs of the kittens
Silver white winters that melt into spring
I’ve found just a few of my favorite things
When the dog bites
when the bee stings
when I’m feeling SAD
I try to remember that I made the choice and it helps me to feel,
That’s as much as I recall at the moment. I think it has 26 stanzas, one for each week she was stuck in that awfully cold place
I began my current existence on Redsen Major. We lived there mostly because my mother was a Matron of Honor, as she had been for a long time before I came along. Later I moved to a place called the Nelvan:Nalvana asteroid cluster and lived on a mining colony located there. Nalvana is part of the Utah-Nevada Mining Coop. Redsen may be vaguely familiar to some girls and women. It’s primarily inhabited by women for women. It’s a place for women to go to find the honesty, and self development they may not have found anywhere else. It’s also an existential entry point, one of many. People usually begin their existence in the outlaying systems of the galaxy due to the lower spacial density, and Redsen is one of those places.
On Redsen, most women who are of child bearing age are aware enough of their own selves to feel when someone is wanting “passage” through their body into the family. The ratio is about 50:1 in favor of female’s. Most of which are there to work on their own selves. To learn about honesty, trust, life, development, Siggma, Delta, PI, Kappa, Theta, MU, and many other relationships and functions that permeate our existence. It’s kind of a women’s place of healing. I’ve personally witnessed how meaningful the experience can be. I made friends with several of the girls there as they grew and were parented by people who do have the patience, awareness, answers, honesty, trust, purpose and reason to be parents.
Our galaxy is not empty. But, it’s hardly full. The best estimates are that there are approximately 444 quadrillion of us living, growing, thriving humans. In a galaxy as large as the one we live in, that’s not very many and I feel sad when I think of those who haven’t been able to find peace. Those who truly aren’t with us any more. Among them I count my parent’s of origin. The individuals who initiated an opportunity for me to be a self aware entity. Unfortunately I’m not alone. Many other’s are also without their original parents.
Another planet in the Redsen System is Kethoria. While Redsen is a matriarchal planet, Kethoria is a patriarchal planet. As you may have guessed, it’s for boys and men who haven’t found the peace, honesty, trust, life, development, relationships, feelings, tears, and necessary expressions in other places.
The galaxy is a very large place. Having said that; it’s also not as large as has been presented by current cosmological measurements. The foremost reason I believe this is from personal experience. I’ve been there. I have way too much information about myself, my life, the environment, other people, and live in general to chalk it up to a fantasy. Plus, it’s being validated by other people. Some of the things I recall are being expressed by other’s as well. Beginning with George Lucas and Tori Amos.
From the Tori Amos album: “Scarlet’s Walk”
I’ve read reviews that this album was written post 9/11. If you are the Author and you are reading this, perhaps you could read through and comment on the impetus for the lyrics you wrote.
“I can’t see New York”
Many of the songs on this album remind of me a diary and an incident that occurred while I was living in Gorga:Gnash, a citystate on a world called Gnash in the Nash system. It began when I started to recall some of the feelings associated with her song: “I Can’t See New York”. My recall is of a rather popular song that received much airplay with a similar title (I can’t feel New York). It referrers to the feelings one gets when one leaves the city of “New York” on the planet Siggma. Siggma is also in the Nash system along with several other worlds. But Siggma V is unique in that the top of the planet always faces outside the galaxy. The city of New York is located up high in the Northern area of the planet which has an axial tilt that keeps it’s top pointed away from the galactic interior. It also has a unique atmosphere that contains large quantities of what’s called “Red Sulphur’. The sulphur in the air has an effect on those who live there such that they seem to miss it more than other people leaving their home. The sulphur combined with it’s axial tilt away from the galactic interior means that when one travels to another place, they get more homesick than others. The song “I can’t feel New York” I recall was an expression of that feeling.
“LiLi is dancing on the table”: LiLi is a POGO robot, like the one in Star Wars that serves drinks on one wheel. A one legged beastie with a ketic (chemical radiant exchange drive unit) interior. She balances on one wheel (LiLi has a flat tire) using gravitational accelerators to maintain her balance. People love to dress up their â€œLiLiâ€ with lipstick, a sexy tail, various wigs, sensuous dresses, curved plastic skins, short skirts, stuffed bras, etc. A later model had the name â€œLisaâ€ and if I recall correctly, the words “LiLi is dancing on the table” comes from a diary left by a (quote)”Taxi Driver”(end quote). A woman who piloted a shuttle from Epsilon station(on Siggma V) to “Huntington Station” on a small moon just outside our galaxy. Huntington, on subox ??, is in Galaxy M64. We are in Galaxy M16. M64 is a factorial power deeper in terms of spacial density than our galaxy; Mboona. Its stars are clear evidence of this greater depth, some being “Solid Argon Core Cascades” as a non reactive star. They appear very “Blue” from a distance. Its possible, even likely that many of the Mystical Alchemic stories we see in movies and books like “The Ring” or “Harry Potter” come from memories of our galactic neighbor named Rheesa.
“On the other side”, “Side of what?”, “We’ve all been pushed too far” and others are quotes, presumably between Vonda Clarkston and her mother, who accompanied her on a couple trips to Huntington station. Vonda’s Mother “Ellen-May”, she writes, withheld from her that her father had left her a “Trust fund”. apparently her mother wanted the money but didn’t tell her daughter. It was apparently most of the impetus for their interactions in life. The diary contained much of their ongoing battle. Vonda knew about the trust fund but her mother didn’t know she knew. The situation finally came to a head with her mother screaming: “I hate you” and Vonda stating” “Thank you”. She told her mother she knew about the trust and didn’t need it or want it at which point she gave it to her mother. It tuirned out there was no money, the trust fund was her family history, something her father had saved for her in “trust”.
Much of the diary contains excerpts from comments she heard from passengers during the long voyage. The bit about the LiLi, if I recall it correctly was more like” “LiLi was dancing on the table. I tried to lick her but she spanked me” in proper British meaning the robot shocked him. Words from an overheard conversation between “Southside Johnny” and someone who was with him at the time. A man who made his living playing music as” Southside Johnny in Valve Overload”, a popular band at the time. “Valve” being a reference to an amplifier vacuum tube. He supposedly had several hundred “bingo valves” that he worshiped daily with his followers. He took them with him on the Hell Train and had such an experience he left the case full of tubes on the shuttle seat. It’s rumored he never came back to get them. Then there’s the quote “Just another dead fag to you” which came from an offhand comment one of Vonda’s band members made to an audience member one night. “it’s just another dead fag to you my friend, bum-up in the ashtray”. Ever looked at a crumpled cigarette in the ashtray and noted it’s similarity to a woman bending over? It means a smoldering cigarette butt, of course. I believe the context was a discussion of life between songs. Which brings me to;
Vonda Clarkston Demarka
Vonda Ellen-May Clarkston DeMarka is her name and the spelling divergence is intentional. DeMarka is the English spelling, Demarka is the British spelling. She was about 102 years old when she made the crossing to “the other side”. She had been a shuttle pilot for probably 80 years when one day she got off on the subox (M64) side, walked into “Huntington Station” and never came back. On the seat of the shuttle was a diary. On top of the diary was a black square with a white border that looked like an overexposed Polaroid. On the bottom the picture were the words: “Vonda in a Green Parka…¦” but the remainder of the words were cut from the photo. (see:Royal Family) Her co-pilot, a younger woman, took the book and tried to sell it but those who knew her stopped the sale and it became a public domain work that can be duplicated freely. The original is now in a glass case up in the Castle Adair, next to a stone grave marker with the name: “Wendy Ellen-Amos Clarkston-DeMarka” engraved in the stone. Next to the original diary are news clippings of “The Incident on Adair” and “Death on Adair“, the life and death story of Wendy, the daughter of Vonda and Datura DeMarka.
Wendy had a heart condition called Mitral Valve Prolapse. It’s a splitting of the mitral (center) valve in the heart and it’s often quite painful. I know from first hand experience having developed the condition once before. Wendy DeMarka lived at castle adair because it was a quiet place, a place she wanted to be and mostly because it lengthened her life. The calm atmosphere caring for the animals was apparently considered the best way to prevent her from dying earlier than necessary. Her father “Datura Leo David DeMarka” passed away shortly after her birth. When she was a teenager an unscrupulous photographer tried to photograph the “Adairian kittens”, thinking it appropriate to include the young girls who tended the animals with no clothing. He posed as “Datura DeMarka”. Wendy apparently did not recognize him but Cheetah Adair, being a very sensitive cat, attacked him when he tried to threaten the girls into undressing, or so they story goes. He was killed immediately by the cat and Wendy apparently passed soon thereafter from the excitement. A story that truly shaped and marked the long, arduous, honestly beautiful life of Vonda Clarkston DeMarka. A woman I had the honor of hearing in person on more than one occasion.
Vonda DeMarka was not just a shuttle pilot. She was also a singer, a very good singer and a very honest person. She sung as often as her schedule permitted under the band name “Lydia Gerrard” which consisted of four members I’ll name later. The name “Lydia Gerrard” refers to a very specific, unique and special Idyllic musical progression. The band name was selected because of their use and practice of what’s called a “Lydel Exchange”. A Lydel Progression takes a melody and through careful arrangement, shifts the musical key between each verse such that an ongoing progression is formed. The key changes are very carefully chosen to be musical yet very emotionally cleansing so the new verse has a brand new quality. Lydia Gerrard was later renamed Lydia Lydel after Vonda made her “crossing”. Her original guitarist had a Crawling Rosewood solid body original “Dejesus”, a single piece guitar made entirely from an original Dejesus Crawling Rose. The Fret board is a single piece of Dejesus crawling rosewood with frets that are bonded rather than gnurled and pressed into the neck. Such an arrangement allows the entire neck to be moved (twisted and bent) in ways that a traditional guitar cannot duplicate. His particular guitar bears the name: “Sweet Rosey Dejesus” and is considered to be one of the more musical sounding instruments every made.
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